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Misfit Toys
This blog is presented by NHE's Editor Hope Browning.
 
For many years I identified myself as a sexually abused victim. As a child growing up that was not the case. I did not realize that what I experienced on a regular basis was sexual abuse. I did not know what sex was or wasn’t. For me, it was just my life. I knew that I was not normal and that my life was different from other kids and yet it was the only normal that I knew. I was so afraid that someone would find out about me.
 
Every year at Christmas time I would get to watch Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. I longed to live on the island of misfit toys. The toys did not perform the way they were supposed to by everyone’s standards but if Santa took them to the island of misfit toys they could be accepted just as they were. If I could just go there, I wouldn’t have to be afraid that someone would find out about me. It wouldn’t matter what happened in secret. It wouldn’t matter that I was not what I was supposed to be. . . a normal kid. I could be accepted just as I was.
 
As I grew toward my teenage years, I attempted to covered up being different by becoming what I thought other people wanted me to be. I did not know that it was alright to have my own thoughts and ideas. I am now learning to have my own thoughts and ideas.
 
It does not always feel safe to share my thoughts with others. What I do know to be true. . . my identity is now in Christ. I no longer have to be worried about what other’s think of me. I know what my God thinks of me and that is what matters. That is not to say that I never struggle with who I am. It is a growing process. I can count it all joy because I know who He is.
 
 
Because of Him,
Hope
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Count It All Joy!

A Healing Soul... ... ...

I am a wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, friend, nurse. The list goes on and on. The order of the list changes over time. For many years I identified myself as a sexually abused victim. Over time, that identity became that of a sexual abuse survivor. Now it is a part of who I am but no longer defines me.

I am married to a man who, in his earlier years, was sexually broken. His actions and lifestyle hurt others. For many years, I have lived in shame and have carried the guilt of my husband’s actions. This journey has taken me down many roads. I have taken many wrong turns characterized by much pain.

Everyone that knows me, knows that I can get lost just driving across town. My 3 year old grandson likes to play the GPS game. He knows that I do not drive anywhere without my GPS. He says “turn right”, “turn left”, and “you have arrived at your destination”. I have definitely not arrived at my destination.  What I do know is that I am a child of the King.

Pain looks differently for all of us, but we can Count It All Joy because JOY teaches us to depend on God.

 

Because of Him, Hope

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