"I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh." (Galatians 5:16).

Below is a list of words and phrases which may portray you much of the time when you are under pressure. Please rate your natural (fleshly) responses on a scale of 1 to 5. 

 

To cope when things aren't going right or going my way, I tend to...

1. become self-absorbed (self-consumed) by:

• becoming overly introspective
• feeling sorry for myself
• engaging in self-pity
• getting depressed by stuffing my anger and frustrations
• beating up on myself
• focusing on my suffering and trials to get attention and sympathy
• playing the role of a victim / martyr

2. withdraw (isolate myself) by:

• becoming aloof (pull away)
• going into a shell
• running and hiding (escape)
• distancing myself from others
• avoiding others (becoming a loner)
• becoming unapproachable
• being overly introverted
• retreating to the silent treatment
• not communicating

3. become obsessed with:

• accomplishments
• recognition
• status
• how I look
• what others think of me
• my physical health
• the past (especially past hurts and failures)
• a devotion to a cause
• structure, order, rules, regulations

 

To cope when things aren't going right or going my way, I tend to...

4. escape pain/pressure through:

• carousing
• drugs / alcohol
• staying busy
• television
• athletics
• hobbies / games
• computers
• pornography
• sex
• talking
• school
• sleep
• religion
• reading
• fantasy
• movies
• entertainment
• overeating
• religious activity and service
• becoming a workaholic
• work (career, business, job)
• gloom and doom thinking (refuse to be positive)

5. become self-indulgent (self-gratifying) by:

• becoming impulsive (hasty)
• buying things to feel better
• assuming "if it feels good, do it"
• becoming compulsive (lacking self-control)
• lusting (craving) for: alcohol, drugs, caffeine, sex, sugar, junk food, cigarette

6. become anxious (worry and fret) by:

• becoming fearful (apprehensive)
• lacking peace and rest
• becoming paralyzed (go numb)
• becoming paranoid (overly suspicious)
• seeking astrology, horoscopes, fortune telling, (tarot cards, palm reading, Ouija boards etc.) and/or the occult for guidance and strength)

 

To cope when things aren't going right or going my way, I tend to...

7. become dominant by:

• becoming dictatorial (bossy)
• becoming demanding (pushy)
• becoming overbearing (controlling)
• becoming manipulative
• intimidating others
• demanding my rights

8. try to stay in control through:

• blackmail (making threats)
• manipulation (use coercion)
• profanity (swearing)
• the silent treatment
• passivity (play helpless)
• not eating (anorexia/bulimia)
• use of guilt
• favoritism

9. come across as:

• insensitive, uncaring, indifferent, unconcerned, and / or unsympathetic

10. become complacent (nonchalant) by:

• saying things like, "It doesn't matter... it's ok"

 

To cope when things aren't going right or going my way, I tend to...

11. challenge others by:

• authority
• becoming uncooperative (unteachable)
• causing dissension (strife)
• irritating (aggravating) others
• becoming argumentative, rigid, inflexible, close minded, stubborn, obstinate, unreasonable or unyielding

 

12. become pessimistic by:

• lacking confidence and
• becoming skeptical (suspicious)
• distrusting others, myself, God, church, and / or government
• expecting the worse
• assuming the worst case scenario to protect myself from disappointment & pain
• never being satisfied or content
• never being pleased with self / others
• becoming jealous of others' success and happiness

13. develop a critical attitude by:

• finding fault with others, myself, and everything around me
• nit-picking to death
• becoming judgmental (opinionated)
• becoming prejudiced (intolerant)
• complaining a lot (becoming negative)

 

To cope when things aren't going right or going my way, I tend to...

14. become hostile (vent my anger) by:

• becoming unfriendly (cynical)
• becoming hateful (malicious)
• becoming harsh (cruel and brutal)
• becoming sarcastic (caustic)
• having a quick temper

15. become self-assured (self-confident) by:

• depending on myself instead of God
• becoming proud (haughty)
• becoming egocentric (acting pompous)
• bragging (being boastful)
• becoming arrogant (cocky)
• having a superior attitude (saying in effect: "I must always be right ...I must always win...I must always be the best")
• pretending like I know it all
• becoming conceited (smug)
• having difficulty asking for help

16. become self-righteous (self-justifying) by:

• becoming defensive
• making excuses (rationalize)
• covering up and hiding mistakes
• assuming I am never the problem
• avoiding taking responsibility for failure or problems
• becoming critical of others (blaming others)
• having difficulty: admitting I was wrong, apologizing, asking for forgiveness, expressing gratitude

17. become tense (nervous and agitated) by:

• finding it hard to relax
• becoming restless (high strung)
• becoming impatient

 

To cope when things aren't going right or going my way, I tend to...

18. become emotionally insulated by:

• keeping people at a distance
• becoming inhibited (bottling up emotions)
• avoiding intimacy
• denying feelings: having difficulty expressing feelings and opinions openly and honestly
• becoming unable to express love in a meaningful way

19. deny reality by:

• ignoring problems and hoping they will go away
• denying anything is bad or wrong
• lying (mislead)
• deceiving others and myself
• exaggerating (overstate matters)
• playing games to hide real intent
• conning people to get what I want

20. hold a grudge (be resentful) by:

• becoming moody (sulk)
• harboring bitterness
• becoming unforgiving
• keeping a scorecard of wrongs done to me or by me
• trying to get even (seeking revenge)
• wanting others to fail or get hurt
• punishing myself or others

 

To cope when things aren't going right or going my way, I tend to...

21. fight unfairly (take cheap shots) by:

• becoming slanderous (misrepresent the actual situation)
• gossiping (talking behind other's backs)
• engaging in passive-aggressive behavior ( i.e. using humor to hide real feelings, becoming sarcastic, refusing to communicate, becoming passive, forgetting things, procrastinating, being late, etc.)

22. put up a front (can't be real) by:

• faking it (hiding what I really think and feel)
• putting on a show (performing) to get attention and impress others
• becoming pretentious (phony, unreal)
• becoming superficial (plastic)
• becoming gushy (too sentimental)

23. lack compassion, kindness, understanding, gentleness, and love

 

To cope when things aren't going right or going my way, I tend to...

24. live by my feelings by:

• becoming too subjective (believing that truth is only what I feel)
• believing I'm ok only when I feel okay
• becoming too sensitive to criticism
• becoming hypersensitive
• taking things too personally
• reading-in rejection when it isn't there, or setting things up to bring about rejections
• becoming touchy (irritable)
• being controlled by anger, doubts, emotions, fear, etc.

25. become a pleaser (be nice) by:

• trying to be all things to all people
• trying to do the "proper / correct" thing
• trying to keep everyone happy
• trying to keep peace at all cost
• avoiding conflict at all cost
• becoming a doormat (letting others take advantage of me)
• expressing to others what I think they want to hear
• giving into others too easily
• becoming controlled by others
• having difficulty: saying no, setting boundaries, standing up for myself, becoming overly compliant, becoming too submissive

26. become passive (lack initiative) by:

• quitting too easily (giving up)
• not taking chances
• playing it safe (pulling back and waiting)
• waiting for someone to tell me what to do and how to think
• depending on others instead of God
• vacillating (becoming too changeable)
• becoming indecisive (not making decisions)
• wanting someone else to make the decision for me
• avoiding failure at all cost
• procrastinating (putting things off)
• becoming irresponsible (becoming unreliable)
• becoming lazy, apathetic, lethargic

27. become self-depreciating (self-condemning / self-critical) by:

• assuming I am always the problem
• becoming overly apologetic
• becoming too hard on myself
• having difficulty: receiving love, receiving compliments, receiving forgiveness, forgiving myself
• clinging (becoming a leach) to those who finally accept me
• becoming uncomfortable with success

 

To cope when things aren't going right or going my way, I tend to...

28. become a caretaker (rescuer) by:

• becoming over protective
• taking responsibility for other's feelings (becoming overly responsible)
• making decisions for others
• giving unsolicited advice
• trying to prevent other's failure
• becoming possessive (selfish)
• becoming a busybody (becoming too involved in other's affairs)
• becoming preachy (lecturing others)
• trying to find someone who needs me and who I can rescue
• nagging (badgering)
• talking too much and listen poorly

29. become too intense (overly serious) by:

• becoming stoical (unemotional)
• having trouble dealing with feelings
• becoming overly analytical
• becoming stern (solemn / formal)
• lacking joy or life
• not being fun to be with

30. become self-disciplined (self-reliant) by:

• becoming a perfectionist
• overcompensating by trying even harder so as not to fail
• becoming legalistic
• living "by the book"
• living by rules (have to's, should's, must's, ought's)
• becoming too hard and strict on myself and others
• setting unrealistic standards for myself and others
• basing acceptance (of self and others) on performance
• fearing making mistakes

 

 

"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:1-24).

"I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh." (Galatians 5:16).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© copyright Lee LeFebre (used with permission); hardcopies are available from Crosslife Books…